I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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