Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize