I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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