I just made out with a guy for $7.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
