Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
