It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize