On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
she was so not down for the gang bang
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize