It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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