He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
