What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
