I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
