Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
