so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
