KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
