y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
