Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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