So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
it was like having sex with a tree stump
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
