But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
