Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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