Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
