I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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