I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
