Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
