Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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