All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
