Betty ford says i'm here all night
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
