Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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