Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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