you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
