Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
birth control should be required to get into college
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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