I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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