She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
