Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
