HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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