dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
