I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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