So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
