office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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