How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?