just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
