So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
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RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."