I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize