Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita

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  (410): You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita http://tfl.nu/ih02
  Replies (5) Good night (697) Bad night (1078)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.

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  (847): I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help. http://tfl.nu/0kqr
  Replies (14) Good night (793) Bad night (2892)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.

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  (401): apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat. http://tfl.nu/jsnf
  Replies (64) Good night (1012) Bad night (15545)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.

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  (717): Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something. http://tfl.nu/o9mn
  Replies (11) Good night (3639) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.

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  (815): There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream. http://tfl.nu/rule
  Replies (12) Good night (5288) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.

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  (781): please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again. http://tfl.nu/xtmx
  Replies (9) Good night (4918) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.

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  (407): Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night. http://tfl.nu/ytoh
  Replies (8) Good night (3956) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate

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  (306): So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate http://tfl.nu/7nyf
  Replies (7) Good night (668) Bad night (2190)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?

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  (905): When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog? http://tfl.nu/u47g
  Replies (7) Good night (550) Bad night (1393)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?

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  (434): On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am? http://tfl.nu/gml1
  Replies (5) Good night (1039) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive

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  (804): Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive http://tfl.nu/45br
  Replies (9) Good night (2051) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.

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  (862): Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued. http://tfl.nu/kpbb
  Replies (2) Good night (400) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.

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  (601): I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank. http://tfl.nu/0dya
  Replies (1) Good night (541) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?

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  (503): And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps. (971): Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi? http://tfl.nu/bulj
  Replies (4) Good night (895) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least

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  (312): woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least http://tfl.nu/d3yx
  Replies (1) Good night (495) Bad night (299)

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