On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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