I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
