Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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