i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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