I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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