just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize