I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
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