I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
accomplished twins. life is a go
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
