so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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