how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
