Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
