What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
