"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She even gives head with a lisp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize