dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
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