This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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