hotel room ftw
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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