i already hear my dad disowning me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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