I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
