I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Sext me about skeletons
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
