saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Randomize
