Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
