Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
