Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
